set backs

does it ever seem to any one else that just as everything looks like it is going to work out everything falls apart? ya me to. in about march i was studying in the library for a particularly nasty round of midterms when i got a call from my grandma wondering if i would want to house sit for my aunt and uncle this summer.  it seemed to be an answer to my prayers, for spring i was going to live with my family and they would pay for everything and i could save my money and then in the summer i would just take care of myself.  my job worked out so that i could work full time and the girl that worked the afternoons would get her job back in the fall but still get to go home to her family for the summer.  everything was going to be perfect. 

then everybody decided to go to king henry for spring and have a bunch of fun, which was great when i had a car! but when i crashed my car i not only lost my car, but really my main way to have a social life.

so then i started riding my bike. and that has actually been great. i have gotten in really good shape and i'm not spending money on gas.  but if you remember my friday post from a couple of weeks ago i got a flat tire and so that was dumb. well yesterday when i was riding home i got another flat tire... dang it. and then i was riding down the hill and i flipped over the handle bars and broke my tooth, got a swollen lip, and scraped up my hips. it was insane! this nice boy helped me get back to my aunts house and i spent the rest of the night working on retreat for girls stuff.  

it seems like everytime i get to a spot that is comfortable there is some sort of hill, bump, or turn in the road that is unexpected.

i guess this is how it is for everyone in life isn't it? i mean how often do we make plans and everything is changed? we plan on going to college, getting married, and having a great career with great kids and helping others in our neighborhood learn how to make your prize winning bread recipe.  but in all reality you go to college just barely make it through finals, break up with several boy friends, finally get married, struggle to find a job, your kids are going to struggle, and most likely someone else will make better bread than you. 

it can get discouraging right?

so why even hope? why do we even try? it's because we are all going through the same thing.  we are all trying, and failing, and hitting those bumps in the road.  we have the opportunity to help eachother through this crazy obsitcal course called life. 

I think that is why i love retreat for girls so much.  it is a huge challenge to feel ready to teach these girls about the gospel.  it is hard. and last night sometimes i completely have a meltdown.  i feel like i can't do it. like it is too hard. or not worth it.  but when i think about how much good has come from it... how much good I HAVE seen it becomes worth it. 

i'm about to get real churchy real fast but that is why my favorite scripture is Alma 26: 30-31

30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our ^ajoy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.

31 Now behold, we can look forth and see the ^afruits of our labors; and are they few? I say unto you, Nay, they are ^bmany; yea, and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us.

its because it give a purpose to all of the heart ache that happens.  to all of the trials.  those trials make us who we are, and who we are is the person that is going to help somebody else, who is going to change somebody else's life.

so ya. this has been a pretty long post.  but i'm glad that these things have happened to me (even though the scrapes on my hips are driving me crazy) because maybe they will help me be able to help somebody else someday.